


While you are there

by SeforaSnape



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Self-Harm, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-06 00:51:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4201587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeforaSnape/pseuds/SeforaSnape
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus is keeping a secret. Albus worries. Find out what happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	While you are there

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not native speaker! Sorry! I tried my best  
> I own nothing!

It had been five years since the dark Lord was gone. Vanquished by a baby. For Severus Snape it meant that he had not to suffer under Voldemorts torture, but had to live with the fact of failure. Lily. His only friend. The only one, who felt not disgusted by seeing him. Well, in the beginning anyway. Now he lived in the old castle, teaching and brewing potions and attending staff meetings. And it was his everything. Deep down he hoped that maybe one day he could redeem himself. Be not that disgusting creature that he was. So he followed his orders, became the best Potion Master the Wizarding World has seen in a century and kept the cleanest record card of accidents in a classroom. But still, he felt it wasn't enough. Helping his colleagues and attending social gatherings weren't the answer either. And after some time he knew what he wanted and knew he could never have. Never deserve. He wanted this steal but always warm blue eyes look at him for once and see something else in it. Not pity or patience and certainly not disgust. He wanted to see proud and joy, and if he was honest to himself, he wanted to see that longing and desire he felt to the other person, he wanted to see love. But knew that that would never happen. Albus Dumbledore would and could never love someone like him. But he felt desperately for that man. How could he not fell for a man like him. He admired his kindness and gentleness by being at the same time the most powerful and knowledgeable wizard a life. He wanted nothing more ore less than be in his present, to touch him, be with him. But all he could do was to lighten the burden of the mans shoulders he was. So he tried his best to not cause any kind of problems or trouble. Than again as it seems he was natures failure, it was just a matter of time until he messed up again. And he shouldn’t really been shocked. He knew it would happen sooner or later. It always had been that way. When he was just a child he already screwed up. Never once did he please his parents. No matter what he did. While in school nothing much changed there. Accept Lily, for a while. And now, this....  
No one was ever supposed to know, but in his haste he forgot to shut the floo network and know he had to face the only person he loved to see, what? Pity? Disappointment? Would Albus kick him out? Surely, he wouldn't let someone unstable as him near the children, after all. 

All had seemed good in the past few years after the disappearance of Voldemort. While Severus had struggled in the beginning of his teaching career. He soon had found a way to handle all his duties, or so it seemed. In the beginning Severus found himself almost every night in the headmasters office to talk or to get lectured. Later it was once every week or so. But more to talk and socialize than anything else. He kept his appearance collected, and never to reveal his inner turmoil. He couldn't be sure of course of what the headmaster was aware, but he was pretty sure he had done a fine job of hiding it. Not that Albus were not able to see. Oh he would be, if he so wished. But as it was the headmaster had led his privacy be after Voldemort was gone. So Albus did not know that Severus had resumed to cutting himself again. He had done so while a teenager. But had to stop when he had joint the death eaters, because their had seen it as a weakness, what it was. And he could not allow himself this freedom of relive, while under them. But later in Hogwarts he could and he did. And he felt he so much needed it. For all his harshness and bitterness, he just sometimes felt nothing. Numb of the pain that consumed and overwhelmed him, the only relive he could find was in hurting himself. He was sure to been have gone mad, if he would not have done so. And maybe that was what he should tell Albus. That it was nothing to worry or be concerned about. That it was a good think that he was doing it. Goods, he should have shut down the network.

It had been a particular stressful day for Severus. He had been up late the night before to brew several portions for the hospital wink and due to a lost bet between him and Minerva he had to do her rounds for the next month, too. The final exams where approaching, so he had to do a lot of grading. All in all he was just stressed and tiered. Actually, no that wasn't the reason, might tell this himself. But truce is he was lonely and heartbroken. So just before dinner he thought he would take his time to relive some of the tension. He had situated himself on the floor in his bathroom, door open as he thought himself alone and safe. He sad, sleeves pulled up and with a silver knife in his right hand cutting in his left arm. He knew how deep he could draw them and he lost himself in the sensation. So much so that he didn't hear the floo, nor the calling of his name, nor that someone entered his private chambers. 

“Severus” he heard. When he fist looked up he thought, he might had gone to far this time, that he was hallucinating. Before him in the doorway stood the headmaster looking down at him with sad blue eyes he loved so much. “You missed dinner, again. I brought something down for you.....I thought you might were caught up in brewing...” the headmaster said. He made a pause as if unsure what to say or what to do next. “I'll be waiting in your living room.” he said and turned to the other room. 

So there he was now, cleaned up and concealing his wounds under a hasty thrown bandage, thinking of something he could say to his mentor. But panic was all there was. So he did the only think he could do and occluded. Albus had sad down in one of the armchairs in his living quarters and faced the fireplace, where a small fire where lit on. Severus entered and sad down opposite of him, with a sigh he couldn't keep in. For a few minutes no one spoke and Severus could feel his heart beet in his chest heavily. “Why, Severus?” Silents. Severus couldn't speak. The headmasters question nearly broke him. All he wished to do right know was to cry out his sorrow. Now Albus turned his head slightly and looked at him. Severus couldn't determine what to read in Albus eyes. After another moment Albus repeated “Why, Severus? Why do you still hurt yourself?” Now Severus knew what he had seen. Disappointment. Still, Severus couldn't answer a lump in his throat had formed and he feared would he just move a muscle he would fall apart. Albus stood from his armchair and Severus was sure that the headmaster had have enough. That he would leave and kick him out, as he deserved. But Albus did not do such things. Instead he crossed the few feet that where between them and sad down on the table, facing him, knees touching. Severus couldn't stand to look at him and looked down at his lap. Albus took one of his hands in his and spoke. “I have hoped that things were better for you know. That maybe while not happy at least you were content. You have archived so much. You have come so far. You are an respectable teacher in this school and I know while in the beginning it didn't seem promising, all your colleagues respect you, trust you, a few even call you their friend. Minerva, Fillius, Poppy and Pomona and I of course. But seeing you know I feel like I have failed you, like I have let you down.”  
Severus shook his had and griped the hand that hold his in a tight grip. “Why than, Severus? What pains you so much?” Albus asked worried in a gentle voice and with his other hand he had began to draw small circles on the other hand that hold his other in a dead grip. “Its not your fault.” Severus spoke barley above a whisper. “I'm a failure and that is what failures do. I'll never be good enough. Nothing ever changes. I'm not worth it.” Severus said. He didn't wanted to say anything but he couldn't let Albus believe it was his fault. Albus let go of his hand and Severus hoped he would go now, because he wasn't sure how long he could keep it together anymore without that hand holding him. But again Albus surprised him. He laid both hand at his cheek “look at me” he said an turned his face to him. “What is it you think yourself not worth of, hmm? What is it your not good enough for, my dear? Tell me!” the headmaster said still gentle but with a underlining force in it. Severus drew a shaky breath and hopelessness flooded him. 

He felt like he would drown. What he felt was panic attack. Instantly he felt a presence in his mind he so oft had felt. And it calmed him for a moment until he realized that Albus had entered his mind. Oh God! What was he supposed to do he couldn't hide and soon Albus would know and he would be even more embarrassed, ashamed even. God he was sorry. And he hoped he'll be forgiven for his shame. He knew his feelings were more as inappropriate. Their where misplaced and just wrong. He could feel Albus moving gentle around his mind and he knew when his secret was out. When the headmaster left his mind he felt a sense of loss and started apologizing. He fell on his knees in front of the headmaster, head bowed down “I'm so sorry, so so sorry, please.......please forgive me...I'm so sorry....” he ranted. Strong arms embraced him and he let himself fall to the other chest. Albus caressed his back. “Shh, my dear...their is nothing to forgive, you've done nothing wrong” - “But.” - “No, Severus...Shh....It is me who is the fool - who has to apologize. I'm sorry. I should have seen it. But you were rather good in hiding it.” Albus mused. Severus wanted to protest again but before he could Albus drew him close to his chest and strengthened the hold of him and bowed his head to Severus before he continued. “To be honest I feel more than flattered. In my age I had no hope that...” he broke the sentence up and looked at Severus who had no lifted his had. “Oh my dear you have no idea what you do to me.” Albus whispered. Severus looked confused and wanted to ask him what he meant when Albus bend his head slightly and laid his soft lips in his. Severus world stopped for a moment and he was sure his heart skipped a beat. Albus so soft and sweet lips were on him hand kissing him ever so gently. Like he had dreamed so often. 

Albus arm were still around him and continued to draw different pattern on him. Severus hands which had been on Albus knees all the time, began to encircle the headmaster and he kissed back. He felt Albus tongue at his lips and inhaled deeply, which Albus used to trust his tongue in Severus mouth to taste him. Severus could taste the light lime flavor on Albus and moaned. The kiss grew from gentle to deeply to passionately rather quick. And both needed a brake to breathe. After a moment of catching breath Severus came back to himself. What just happened? Why did Albus kiss him. He was confused and tensed. Albus felt the difference immediately. “It was wrong of me to say I was disgusted of you, because I was not, nor was I ever.” He laid his hand under Severus chin and lifted it so he could look him in the eyes. “You are a remarkable young man, who has achieved a lot in just a view years and I have told you that before. You are brilliant, intelligent and there are many Griffendors who could use a part of your bravery. And while you are a strong willed man and a powerful wizard on your own, you are more than that. You are loyal, sensual and passionate and I fell honored to be the object of your affection and when you led me I shall show you how proud of you I am, how much I care about you, how much I love you.” While Albus had spoken both men had tears in their eyes. 

Magic around them seemed to crack and when both wizard resumed kissing the light in the chambers flickered. Deeper and harder as before their kissed and caressed each other. Albus started to open Severus fly and outer robe while Severus clung to him like dear live. When Albus had opened all the buttons on his robe and shirt he started to caress his nipples and he moaned in Albus mouth. Severus still on his knees, between the Headmasters legs, sad up and brought his hand up to Albus neck while pressing in to him. His hard cock pressed into Albus and he could fell Albus cock under his robes. Albus let his one hand wander down to Severus ass and pressed him further in to him while he moved his hips to the front. The sensation was nearly overwhelming for both and they broke the kiss to moan with pleasure. They rubbed against each other until Albus pushed Severus away. Perplex Severus looked at him, fearing this was all to be good to be true. Sensing this Albus quickly said “ We might want to locate to a more comfortable surface as the table, wouldn't you agree?” Severus realizing what he meant were on his legs immediately. Albus laughed kindly and let Severus help him up. “Take me to bed, Severus.” he said seductively. “My pleasure.” 

In Severus bedroom all patience stop to exist. Both wizard were naked before each other in a blink of an eye. Severus erection stood hard as rock and red in front of his lean and pale body. Albus while far older then Severus still had a firm and strong body. Albus guided Severus to his bed and sad him down. Severus backed up the bed and laid down and Albus laid next to him. There looked at each other and took everything in their could. The softness of skin, small hairs around their proud cocks. Albus leaned into Severus and started kissing his neck, he placed his hand on his tight and started caressing again. Severus melted like butter, at his cock precume was already leaking and he feared he would come any moment. When Albus moved his hand up his tight and slowly caressed his balls and clasped his erection he couldn't stop his hips to jerk forward. Albus pleased with himself started pumping up and down and moved his kisses from his neck down to Severus chest, where he to a nipple in his mouth and sucked greedy. Severus groaned loudly “ ahh...dear Merlin...so good...” Albus hummed and moved to the other nipple to give the same attention. “So beautiful, my love.” Albus sad up between Severus legs cock still in hand and pumping. “Tell me what it is you want, Severus?” Breathless Severus answered. “You, I want you. I love you.” There he had said it out loud. Albus blue eyes lit up and he smiled the most endearing smile at him. “And I love you Severus.” Severus still couldn't believe his luck. Albus bowed down to him and kissed him slowly on the lips. Breaking it after a while he said. “And I want to show you how much I love you, I want to worship your body, kiss it, lick it and claim you as mine. But I also want to know what it is that you want. Would you like to bury your cock deep insight me? Or would you like me to suck you off. Let me drink your come and let you taste it from my lips.?” Severus couldn't to anything else than moan again and embraced Albus pressed him closer to him and grabbed his ass. Their cock rubbed at each other and it felt so very good. Severus tried to answer. “I want your cock inside me, Albus....please. I need to feel you.” Kissing him hard on the lips, 

Severus left Albus ass cheek with one hand and summoned his wand. A spell later he felt the lubrication leaking out his puckerhole. When he, for the very fist time, touched Albus cock, it was hard and thick. He stroke him a few moment, both enjoying the pleasure. Albus finger fucked his wet hole fist with one, then two and three fingers. Severus couldn't wait any longer and guided Albus cock to his entrance. In a swift motion Albus was in Severus, both groaned loudly. “Oh yes, so wet....ahh, so tight....” Severus had never felt so full in his live and he loved it. But he needed more. He clenched his muscles and moved his hips, which seemed to give Albus the rest, as he started to move now, fist slowly than his strokes became longer but more powerful. Severus tried not to come, as he wanted to hold the moment. As always Albus seemed to know. “ Look at me.” Albus panted. “Let go Severus.” And Severus knew what to do. While rocking with each other their connected their gazes, let go of their occlumency walls and connected their minds. It was heaven. It was everything. He didn't just feel his own pleasure anymore but could feel the others, too. His love, too. He felt a shiver run through him an he knew he was coming, hard. He screamed Albus name and realized that Albus came himself, shooting his seed deep inside him. The overwhelming sensation of Albus powerful orgasm and their connected minds made him coming again. Albus collapsed next to him, breathing heavily. The connection now broken. Severus could feel his magic and Albus magic on him. Strange? Why was that? He had his eyes closed and tried to feel the magic. It was calming him, embracing him, he felt like he had finally come home. He turned to Albus, who took him in his arm, exhausted but happy. “I love you.” Albus said with closed eyes and a smile on his lips. And Severus knew it was true, gone was all doubt and fear, because he knew he had found his soul mate. He knew because he could feel it in his magic, in is heart soul and mind. With a content sigh he snuggled in to Albus and fell a sleep.

The End


End file.
